looking back

I'm always a sucker for 'what-if' scenarios. They run through my head all the time. I've spent years wondering what I could have done, knowing what I do now about the impact of my old choices.

Well, now, I find myself there again. I'd love to go back to those days April 23 and 25, 2010.

That day was the beginning of quite possibly the most emotionally taxing three months of my life. Those months did me a lot of good in the end. I'm glad I'm past them, and I'm glad for the lesson I learned.

But I wonder what could have happened if I had had just a bit better control. If I had said the right words. If, if, if.

Of course there's the constant possibility that it wouldn't have made a difference. But that's not as nearly as fun to ponder.

(In other news, TWO UPDATES IN TWO DAYS WHOA)