(Normally I like to have a chorus, two verses and a bridge, but I'm not feeling a bridge right now. Honest criticism is welcomed and encouraged; I'm a bit rusty in this field. As usual, these are influenced by some song; specifically Emery's "The Poor and the Prevalent," though I didn't borrow the rhythms exactly, it gives you an image of what sound I have in my head when I write. Rambling over.)
This isn’t how the writers said the story would end.
This isn’t anything like how I wanted it to be.
I know these star-crossed promises are made to be broken
But I didn’t want these severed ties to cut so deep
I’ll make amends, and you’ll make a mess, showing contempt for all my attempts
To reconcile. But you’ll call me your bile: when unseen it’s fine, but the sight’s so vile.
I dare not speak, ‘cause you’ll say naught to me, but I can’t stop the sting when I see
The pain in your countenance, a desperate cry for second chance, and all I want is for you to be free.
Yes, I know how the prophets said the story would end.
And it’s nothing like the way it played out in my dreams.
I know these star-crossed promises are made to be broken,
But I can’t bear to watch you suffer through this silently
I chose this road; it’s the right one I know, but I didn’t think it’d lead so far from your own.
I have no regrets, and we owe not a debt. But how can I keep my mouth shut when you let
Yourself fall apart, and your soul loses heart? I’m no saint but can I still do my part
Before you find too late you’re lost? ‘Cause I’ll blame myself at any cost, ‘cause all I want is for you to be free.
Yes, I know how the prophets said the story would end.
And it’s nothing like the way it played out in my dreams.
I know these star-crossed promises are made to be broken,
But I can’t bear to watch you suffer through this silently.
Monday, November 23, 2009
Wanderer (Star-Crossed Promises)
Posted by Mike at 7:12 AM
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8 comments:
I am intrigue.
that's the idea. =)
how so?
I am impressed by you. Good job. :]
Gracias, sister =)
Hrm...dunno. I like the lyrics, rhyme is nice. What kind of instrumentation would it be put to were it made?
Post-hardcore band (drums, bass, at least one guitar, vocalist, possibly a screamer for effect). As I said, I had Emery in mind when I wrote it.
hmm. when i was reading it i imagined more of a anberlin *fin sort of beginning and ending. but then again, that's MY mind. not yours. :P
Exactly.
If you really want details, the chorus is in 4/4 and the verses are in 6/8.
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